01/27/2005 WWE SmackDown: JBL NC Kurt Angle in 16:42.  It feels weird reviewing something from the 2000s sometimes because it doesn’t feel *old* enough, but Jesus, we’re over two decades removed from this match. The storyline here was that JBL was the WWE champion, defending against Kurt Angle and Big Show in a three-way match at the Royal Rumble three days later. Both of these guys were heels, so the matchup was a little wonky going in. Both men had their crews out there with them to start, and what a fucking All-Star lineup that was. There was some wrestling talent on both sides, but poor Mark Jindrak, Luther Reigns, the Bashams, and Orlando Jordan couldn’t get over at all in this period, and all eventually left in short order. They had a brief, heatless scrum on the outside, which sent everyone to the back. WWE Last Man Standing Matches are very hit or miss for me in general, but one where the crowd hated both guys probably wasn’t the best way to go. It seemed like the crowd at least slightly got behind Angle as it went along (perhaps because he was the better wrestler or better overall human being), but not much overall. Angle played the de facto babyface by having so many close nine-counts, but the match was too slow to get over without the crowd having a strong rooting interest. There was a spot where Angle gave JBL eight German suplexes without ever letting go, but it felt like the fans weren’t buying it as a legitimate possible finish. Mostly everything looked good and was well-executed, but there really wasn’t much of anything built up as a credible finish for one guy being down long enough for the typical WWE twenty-five-second count to ten. The finish saw JBL kick Angle in the face with a chair, and Angle blasted JBL in the head with it as both fell, and the ref counted to ten. It should be noted that BOTH chairshots were edited out, as if this were 1991 Global, but that’s another story. All of that for no winner? They cut to the back, where Teddy Long was watching with Big Show, who cut a promo for the Rumble in the most unremarkable way you could imagine, and that’s how the show ended. Oof. The story was that Teddy set this match up at Show’s request so they’d both go into the Rumble banged up. Okay, first, that‘s a sneaky bitch move by a babyface. Second, this match was so tame by WWE LMS standards; no one bought it like Big Show had a huge advantage over these wounded men. This was a bad idea that played out as flat as it looked on paper, with an awful finish to boot. *1/2