Introduction

This piece is the first edition of a series I wanted to try. There should be some really cool story associated with this invention, but there isn’t, so let’s assume I was taking a stroll with the homey Mary Jane. 

I will take the work of a booker and use ChatGPT to see how it would book the same thing. What’s the work of a booker? It can be a show, storyline, TV, a PPV build, and who knows what else. Let’s not be rigid about a concept aided in its creation by the giggle smoke. It should be noted that I also believe in gladhanding and am open to suggestions. 

Preambles aside…

The First Episode of ECW on TNN

The Setup

ECW on national television was a big fucking deal at the time. No one knew that this would be TNN dipping its toe in the water with pro wrestling programming before acquiring the WWF, but many hoped this would mean new heights for ECW. The focus has always been the relationship between Paul Heyman and the Network (not Cyris), but I did not like the booking in this era as a whole. I’m sure I’ll write about that at some point on this site.  

I didn’t include the actual first show on TNN because it was an intro show with old matches, old clips, and promos. 09/03 was the Elks Lodge in Queens show, the week after the clip show. There was also an entire TV taping scrapped from Dayton, OH, because why the fuck not – it’s Paul Heyman. This show was the Dudley’s last appearance before they departed for direct deposit and the WWF. Those ECW guys are lucky camera phones didn’t exist then because Bubba would have sent multiple pictures of merch checks in a big group thread. This show was also the epic surprise return of Raven from WCW after asking for his release.  

Paul Heyman’s Show

ECW on TNN – September 3, 1999 (Elks Lodge, Queens, NY)

Opening / Cold Open

• The show kicks off with ECW World Heavyweight Champion Taz making his entrance to defend the title against Yoshihiro Tajiri.

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Match 1 – ECW World Heavyweight Championship

• Taz (c) vs Yoshihiro Tajiri

• Taz dominates with a clothesline, suplexes, and forearms. Tajiri fights back with kicks and a dropkick for a nearfall.

• Taz finishes him with the Tazmission (Katahajime) submission.

• Result: Taz retains the title.

   

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Promo Segment

• Joey Styles opens the broadcast.

• Joel Gertner is revealed as the new color commentator.

• Jerry Lynn appears and cuts a promo putting over ECW’s uniqueness and calling out Rob Van Dam for the TV Title.

• Bill Alfonso interrupts, slaps Lynn, and warns he won’t get another shot. RVD runs in, chaos ensues, and referees separate them.

 

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Match 2 – ECW World Tag Team Championship

• The Dudley Boyz (Buh Buh Ray & D-Von) vs Balls Mahoney & Spike Dudley (c)

• Intense brawling involving powerbombs, tables, and thumbtacks.

• Spike gets super-bombed through a table; Dudley Boyz hit the 3-D to win.

• Result: Dudley Boyz become the new Tag Team Champions.

   

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Match 3 – ECW World Tag Team Championship

• Raven & Tommy Dreamer vs The Dudley Boyz (c)

• Raven returns to ECW, aligning with Dreamer.

• They team up to upset the champions.

• Result: Raven & Dreamer win the ECW World Tag Team Titles.

Fantasy Version via ChatGPT

ECW on TNN – September 3, 1999

Match 1 – Yoshihiro Tajiri vs Super Crazy

• Fast-paced opener.

• Tajiri wins with the buzzsaw kick.

• Post-match: Guido & FBI jump both men.

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Promo Segment

• Joey Styles introduces the debut.

• Dudleys cut a promo ripping the fans and challenge Balls & Spike for the belts.

• RVD & Fonzie also hype that RVD is “Mr. Friday Night.”

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Match 2 – ECW World Television Title

• Rob Van Dam (c) vs Lance Storm

• Showcase bout with nearfalls and dives.

• RVD wins with the Five-Star Frog Splash.

• Jerry Lynn appears post-match, staring RVD down.

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Match 3 – ECW World Tag Team Championship

• Balls Mahoney & Spike Dudley (c) vs The Dudley Boyz

• Chaotic brawl, tables and chairs everywhere.

• Spike hits the Acid Drop on D-Von → Balls & Spike retain.

• After the match, Dudleys berate the crowd one last time … until New Jack runs in and clears house.

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Closing Segment

• Tommy Dreamer addresses the fans, thanking them.

• Suddenly, Raven returns, drops Dreamer with the Evenflow DDT, then helps him up.

• Joey screams: “Raven is back in ECW! What does this mean for Dreamer?!”

Analysis

The Raven return to defeat the dastardly Dudleys as their departure and his arrival made that show. I was not a big fan of the Dreamer/Raven stuff in this TNN era, but the kickoff was phenomenal. The crowd chanting “Welcome Back” at Raven holding both tag titles is an iconic ECW memory. The bot’s version of the show puts the fans in the position of not knowing what to make of an attack on babyface Dreamer. Paul booked him as the hero who saved the Dudleys from handing the ECW tag titles to Vince McMahon on their way out. God bless New Jack for providing me a lot of entertainment in my lifetime in multiple ways, but his being the one to benefit most from the Dudleys’ leaving seems Vince Russo-ish at best. 

The bot has better wrestling than Paul’s show did. I liked Taz and Tajiri for what it was, but it was a showcase for Taz. I would say it’s Advantage Paul for putting Taz on the show and making him look dominant in front of a rabid crowd, but the Tajiri-Crazy match is a better wrestling match, and RVD and Lance Storm worked well together at this time. 

There’s also nothing to sell you for a second show with the AI version. Paul set up an RVD vs. Jerry Lynn match for his second show. 

At least the bot gave Guido and the FBI some love when they beat up Tajiri and Crazy after the match. 

I wouldn’t be beating Lance Storm in my debut, either. Not the best idea from the Bot. 

I guess it depends on what you think of Balls and Spike as a team to determine what you think of the tag titles booking, but it’s tough to argue you aren’t better off with much bigger stars and more possible storylines in their team as the champs. Balls and Spike pretty much went away as a team after all this. 

Winner: Paul Heyman

At some point on this site, we will get into some extremely stale ECW booking by Paul, but he’s the winner here. Raven’s return was a huge fucking deal, and the angle to bring him back was tremendous. The bot confused and diluted their Raven return by having him lay out a babyface, then hold him up to add further bewilderment. What the fuck is that? As mentioned, the Bot had the better wrestling show, but where was Taz on that sheet? I didn’t like Tajiri in Paul’s scenario, either. He lost to Taz at the Heatwave PPV and got choked with barbed wire afterward. Losing the next match in about ten minutes shorter and in a more one-sided match feels like it should be he textbook definition of unnecessary. It didn’t kill Tajiri, but he was starting to get over with the heel turn and was at a talent level where he should have been showcased better. That said, at least it went into their world champion looking like a killer. The Bot wrote their show like week twenty-six of the series, and Paul did his with a huge bang of a first show.